Aggressive Retsuko 94

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Never listen to your friends. Especially your vegan friends. Download here.

…I can’t think of anything to write about. Bye.

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Aggressive Retsuko 93

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H-h-here you go Senpai, I g-g-got this for you! *blushes deeply and runs down the hall screaming*

Hah, you didn’t think I would be on time for THIS holiday, did you? Well you were kind of right. Especially if you live anywhere east of the east coast. Which is a lot of the planet, actually…

Well, hope you at least got Senpai to notice you, or got a sweet blowjob or whatever it is people do for valentine’s day. Some of the timings in this ep are a bit short, since I never know what to do when people cut each other off constantly to gasp about pointless things. Or cut themselves off. I also can’t tell if I should be subbing all the actual gasps, and hmmmms, and ahhhs. They’re already making the same sound I’d type in English and hopefully whoever watches this is capable of understanding that.

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Aggressive Retsuko 92

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This isn’t the on-time subs I was looking for… Download here.

I was wondering if they’d ever bring up her sign from way back in the first episode, and now that long wait has finally paid off. Yup. Such satisfaction.

The surrounding horoscope text was all nonsense that I didn’t feel like attempting to morph into English nonsense, so I just put glowing words next to the glowing words. It might lag the second cut(it does on my player), but oh well. At least I learned how to make things glow.

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Aggressive Retsuko 91

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It’s like girlslaughing.jpg but instead they’re annoyed at your antiquated attempts to get people to interact with you. Png’s a better format anyway. Download here.

I actually had this ready yesterday but forgot to put it up because I’m easily distracted by things. Tried to do the minimal amount of subtitle effects possible this time, but something still went wrong with the post she made(at least on my player), so I left the first half of the song very low effort. The gradual bolding made it kind of funny in a different way anyway.

Some of the lines might still be hard to read, but uh…too bad.

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Aggressive Retsuko 90

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Basically how I feel after most of this effort went to waste. Download here.

So. For anyone wondering, alllll of the phonetext was supposed to be subbed over. I masked everything and slid it around and iclip’d parts out to match the finger movement, all that shit. It was beautiful. Like watching a baby swan crash through a giant glass case filled with ice sculptures of bigger swans. I even fudged a bunch of blurry colors together to pretend it was a gradient and that kanji wasn’t hiding behind it, waiting to ruin everyone’s good time.

Then I muxed it and played it and it killed MPC. Had to cut about 60% of the lines, because APPARENTLY media players aren’t built to handle making 10+ sections of text jitter furiously in real time. The stationary parts are still intact, and it at least displayed the meat of the message being displayed, but the scene in the middle is a wasteland of untranslated text. It’s also got a goofy graphical glitch that the show creators didn’t catch:

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The phone’s screen extends past its edge, on the right.

So yeah, not doing that again ever. If stuff jitters, it’s out the window. Right into the swan sculpture display.

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Aggressive Retsuko 88+89

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Merry Christmas and Happy New Year from a month in the past! Unfortunately all you normal people will only be seeing this post in the future, when it’s too late to warn you about the bees. Download here and here.

Christmas turned out to be extremely exhausting, and then I got sick, and then I decided to replay TiTS SC and finally start the 3rd and then go through Cold Steel and…I mean, I got sick. Forever.

Excuses aside, I’ll hopefully be back to normal with spitting these out. Fashion will never be something I’m knowledgeable about, so these kinds of episodes will always be a mix of my logical deductions about whatever the fuck they’re talking about, and things that come up within the first few results on google. 90 is fairly normal so I don’t think that’ll have any problems outside of putting text on the button things. But if that’s too annoying I’ll give up anyway and do something quicker and low effort. Because I’m a professional.

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Aggressive Retsuko 87

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PDA went out of style years ago. Download here.

Coming up with something that says I’M/WE’RE JEALOUS to use at the end that didn’t sound as stupid as that was hard, and I’m worried people will extrapolate lesbian undertones now. Also, Christmas is next Monday, so I’m not sure if it’ll get in the way of next week’s episode if there is one, but it shouldn’t be too delayed if it is.

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Aggressive Retsuko 85+86

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After ten thousand years hours minutes it’s free! Download here and here.

Apparently ten thousand hours is actually longer than a year, but ten thousand minutes is barely a week. Who knew? And who knew videogames could be such a big distraction? Me. Which is why I also forgot to mention Xenoblade 2 coming out would delay things in the last post. But I’m mostly over that(haha just kidding I still have hundreds of hours of things to do), so 87 should at least be out this weekend…probably.

The Japanese names in 85 were all mainly drama/tokusatsu actors and whatnot, which doesn’t quite have an equivalent in western media. At least to the extent of their apparent popularity in Asia. So, I tried to google for hot actor guys, but google only gave me names of hollywood dudes, so that’s what you get. For anyone interested, the actualpeople they parodied were Hiroshi Tamaki, Jun Matsumoto, and Hiro Mizushima.

I started a new paragraph but forgot what I was going to type. WAIT NOW I REMEMBERED Retsuko’s getting bigger episodes on Netflix! Or Amazon. I don’t remember and don’t care to google or scroll down to reread what that one guy commented. I’m assuming they’ll be subbed in English by whoever’s hosting them, so hopefully I won’t have to bother with that. Although, who knows what theirs’ll be like. I bet they won’t even have the audacity to contract ‘theirs’ and ‘will’ while trying to pass themselves off as knowing what they’re doing.

Also I remembered what I was actually actually going to type: the tracking for the first phonetext in 85 looks really jittery and bad on my video player but I have no idea how to make it look better and I think this happened in an episode before. Something about scaling+movement doesn’t jive well with aegisub, or at least to a degree of smoothness that won’t be upsetting. It’s not an important piece of text anyway. I may have also accidentally tripled the size of that episode with the fonts I used…

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Aggressive Retsuko 84

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This episode brought to you by the letter 雰囲気. Download here.

In case it wasn’t obvious, this episode’s joke was untranslatable. In Japan(and I imagine any other country that has a non-Roman alphabet writing system but use keyboards with the Roman alphabet on them), they use an input method editor when typing to allow them to convert the letters/hiragana they type into kanji when necessary, because they’ve got millions of those things and you can’t fit them all on one keyboard. Here, beaverlady is mistyping ふんいき(fun’iki) as ふいんき(fuinki), a  common mistake when both spelling and speaking in Japan, and the IME refuses to turn it into 雰囲気, the kanji for the word.

I probably could have chosen a word that’s both misspelled aaaand mispronounced in English, instead of just misspelled, but it would have taken even longer to get the episode out, and I had already wasted a day not understanding how to add automation scripts to aegisub despite doing it once before. Weird/wierd are also conveniently similar in length to the Japanese word.

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Aggressive Retsuko 83

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Lord stop my bleating heart. Download here.

Some of the sheeplines should probably have been more…formal, I think, but we only have so many ways to express formality in English before it takes up a million characters and ruins all your timings. At least they didn’t make me come up with a name but they would totally be named Woolliam if they were a mansheep.

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